The Flavors of Abruzzo

OK, I guess it’s time to come out of the closet so to speak. You see, I’m an over 40 mom. I’ve never really mentioned my age on my blog, but with Angel over at Flower Power Mom organizing the First International Tribute to Midlife Motherhood, I decided maybe it was time to come clean. Yes, I’m a “midlife mom”, although I can’t say that I truly consider myself to be in “midlife”.

Personally, here in Italy I haven’t been the subject of a lot of criticism or prejudice although I have seen it as I wander around the web. I see younger women who say that being an older mom is irresponsible. After all, we should be thinking about the fact that we could have a child with a disability, according to them.  But, everyone runs that risk. I also see those who call “midlife moms” selfish and assume that we refused to have children when we were younger because we were career driven and didn’t want to give that up for children. They then say that once we realized that our biological clocks were winding down we got desperate. What they don’t take into account is the fact that many of us just didn’t find the right guy until later.

The other type of “prejudice” I see seems to come from the medical community. Websites are full of “gloom and doom” for women who are attempting to conceive or who have conceived. To read some of these websites leads one to believe that it’s a hopeless cause. They list all of the negative things that could happen and talk about how conceiving for a woman over 40 is almost impossible. While the internet is a great place for gathering information, just like any other information source, it depends upon where the information is coming from and what spin has been put on it. Objective information is very rare.

I recently fell prey to this negativity. We had decided to try for another child, even though I’m now 44 years old. All of the negative information was haunting me though. I guess it all made me think that these two years since my last pregnancy have changed everything. My first pregnancy came naturally and easily – I enjoyed being pregnant. But, I let negative thoughts creep in this time. When I became pregnant I was haunted by the fact that my sources on the web say that the percentage of miscarriage is higher in moms over 40.  I thought about it every day, so I guess it’s not all that surprising that I ended up having one.

We need to counter this negative attitude towards parenthood over 40. First of all, years ago women still had children in their 40s, so there is nothing “unnatural” about it. Plus, today’s women in their 40s are much healthier. And personally, I know for certain that I am a better mother now than I would have been 15 or 20 years ago. I have more confidence and, most importantly, patience.

So, any of you over 40 moms out there, head on over to Flower Power Mom for more information on the First International Tribute to Midlife Motherhood. And if you’re on Facebook, join the group Flower Power Mom – The Truth About Motherhood After 40.

Luigi is a pretty fearless kid. He’s past the stage of being afraid of things that make a lot of noise – the food processor, blender, etc. – and is now basically not afraid of anything.

This can actually be quite inconvenient since I have to keep a constant eye on him for fear he’ll climb up on something and fall off or set some appliance in motion.

There is one thing that scares him though. This commercial

As soon as the commercial starts he comes running over to sit on my lap, watching it over his shoulder. Then, at the point where the roll stops, elevates and turns, he screams, starts crying and buries his face in my shoulder.

It’s puzzling me. What is so scary about this?

If you frequent any of the expat sites, you’ll find a lot of talk about how Italian women seem to always be cleaning their houses. And, it’s true. I know a few women who seem to spend all of their time doing just that. They clean their house from top to bottom and, when that’s done, start all over again. Personally, if I did that I would go absolutely crazy. I have to have something to keep me occupied mentally and cleaning doesn’t cut it. Oh, in the beginning I used to try to keep up, but I realized my pathetic attempts just weren’t up to snuff.

Now, I’m not advocating dirtiness in the least, but I sometimes wonder what we’re doing to ourselves and the environment with all of these cleaning chemicals.  Why? Because I almost pass out every time I clean my shower. The shower is located in a windowless bathroom so I turn on the ventilating fan every time I clean, but when I climb in the shower to scrub the walls, the fumes are still almost too much for me.

One chemical that I use to clean my sink seems particularly noxious to me since it makes my nose burn every time I use it. It’s specifically formulated to get rid of the limescale, something that is quite a problem here, so I would imagine a lot of people use it. While I love the way it leaves my stainless steel sink nice and sparkly (at least until someone touches it or a drop of water hits it), I wonder what else it is doing.

Out of curiosity, I had to look up the ingredients. They include phosphoric acid, formic acid, etidronic acid, pvp (whatever that is) and sodium hydroxide. I didn’t do any in-depth research on the ingredients, and they are listed as non-toxic so technically I should feel good about using it, right?  Yet, I still wonder how non-toxic they really are. And while I know there are natural cleaners, they just don’t work as well, unfortunately.

I’d like to use this product daily so that I have a nice shiny kitchen sink all the time (especially since I’m surrounded by people who have nice shiny sinks), but I refrain from doing so because of what it could be doing to the environment, our health and especially the health of my son. So, my sink is a little dull and has water spots on it, but I’ve reduced some of the chemicals that we come in contact with on a daily basis. It’s still clean, just not shiny and sparkly. Maybe I’m paranoid, but articles like this one make me think that I’m doing the right thing by trying the limit the amount of chemicals we use.

So, if you come visit me, please don’t mention my dull, spotty kitchen sink.

Just about every town in Italy has it’s special dish. Most of the time it’s shared with other towns in the area, but often each town has its own version of the same dish. That can make things interesting when it comes to trying to figure out a recipe for something you’ve tasted.

Yes, you can try to ask someone how it’s made, but even then you might end up with ten different answers, all from the same town.

That’s basically the case with spezzatino d’agnello. It looks fairly simple really – just lamb pieces cooked in tomato sauce. And, I have to admit, when I first tasted it I thought, “what’s the big deal? Just throw some lamb in tomato sauce and you’ve got it made.” But, it’s not that simple. You see, all spezzatino d’agnello is not created equal. In fact, some of it is downright nasty.

Lamb cooked in tomato sauce, if not done correctly, takes on a disagreeable gamey flavor – in my opinion anyway. The key to making the dish then becomes how to avoid getting that flavor without losing the flavor of the lamb. Some people have even tried boiling the lamb first which makes it even worse. Just thinking about the result of that step makes me cringe. There are some towns that even add peas to the mix, but peas cooked in tomato sauce just don’t do it for me.

So, when I was invited to a party where this was the main (and only) dish, I was hesitant. I figured that if nothing else, I would eat some bread. But, to my surprise, it was absolutely the best version of the dish I’d ever tasted. At that point I was determined to find the recipe – or should I say, the method. Some careful listening and watching clued me in.

According to the “experts”, the best way to make it is to brown the lamb first, then let it cool. Once it’s cool marinate it in wine and spices overnight, then cook it.  After hearing this I was determine to try it and it turned out absolutely fantastic. Even O agreed and, since it’s his town’s “special dish”, that made his opinion very important.

Ingredients

1 1/2 kilos of mixed lamb cut into small pieces (with bones included)
1 liter red wine
1 large sprig rosemary
4-5 sage leaves
1 large sprig parsley
3 cloves garlic
salt
2 liters tomato sauce
2 tablespoons olive oil

Heat the oil in a frying pan over high heat, salt the pieces of lamb and then brown on all sides. Do not cook them through, just brown them.

Remove from the pan, shaking as much oil off as possible and put in a deep dish. Once the meat has cooled to room temperature, add the rosemary, sage, parsley and garlic. Cover the entire mixture with the red wine. Make sure all of the meat and herbs are covered. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and put in the refrigerator overnight.

The next morning, remove the herbs and chop into small pieces (removing the rosemary leaves from the branch, of course). If the garlic is really mushy, chop up a couple of fresh cloves. Heat a small amount of olive oil in the pot and then add the herbs and garlic and simmer for a few seconds. Add about a cup of the wine that you used for the marinade and allow to simmer for a minute or two, then add the tomato sauce. Bring the tomato sauce to a simmer, then lower the heat and add the lamb to the pot. Keeping the flame low, cook the lamb for at least an hour. You want the meat to be well cooked but not falling off the bone. Taste the sauce and add salt if necessary.

If you’re serving a primo and secondo, you can use some of the sauce over pasta as a first course, then the meat as a second course. If not, just serve the meat and sauce and lots of crusty bread.

OK, so it’s not a very picturesque dish, but what it lacks in appearance it makes up for in flavor.

We’ve been playing hide and seek for six months now with Luigi’s molars. Every few weeks he gets the telltale rash, starts drooling to beat the band and gets irritable. But then, the symptoms disappear and still no molars.

At his age, some kids already have molars and are even starting to get their canine teeth. My little guy still only has eight front teeth. This, of course, makes it a little difficult for him to eat meat and some vegetables. The other day he insisted on trying a carrot stick and he worried that piece of carrot around in his mouth for about 15 minutes. I kept a close eye on him since I was afraid he would choke, but in the end, he prevailed and actually managed to finish it.

So, is this normal at 20 months old to still only have 8 teeth? According to the pediatrician there’s no problem, but I’m hoping he gets his teeth soon. This way he’ll feel more comfortable and will be able to start eating some more interesting foods.

I have to admit though that part of the reason is also selfish on my part. You see, I’d really like to get some sleep.  When he’s teething he can’t sleep lying down. I guess his sore gums just throb in that position. This means that mama spends the night propped up on the couch with him in her arms, a position that is not conducive to a good night’s sleep for mama since he’s a wiggle worm when he’s sleeping and makes abrupt changes of position. I’m so afraid he’s going to do a quick change on me and end up on the floor, that I spend the night in a semi-sleep state.

In the past few days our odyssey has started once again with the supposedly tell-tale rash on the cheeks and all of the other signs. His little gums are swollen and he’s been chewing on his fingers and sucking in his cheeks, so I’m hoping something will appear soon. It’s hard to tell since he’s averse to having anyone look in his mouth and clamps his jaws shut the minute he thinks I’m trying to peek, so I have to use some innovative tactics to get him to keep his mouth open long enough to get a good look.

So far, there’s no sign of any teeth, but I’m hoping this time it’s the real deal.

Right now I happen to be working on a large translation project whose due date is quickly approaching. It’s not even a particularly difficult project, but it seems to be taking me double the normal time.  Lately, my powers of concentration have severely diminished.

If it were spring I could understand. Such things often occur when the weather starts to turn nice and the flowers start to bloom. With this change in season comes the unmistakeable urge to go outside and enjoy the sunshine and the improved weather. But, it’s mid-February and looking out my window all I see are gray skies and leafless trees. Definitely not anything that is calling for me to leave my post by the computer and head outdoors.

So, what could be the cause of this lack of concentration? As always, I have numerous things to do besides my project, but I keep falling behind in everything and I don’t know what I’m spending my time doing. I sit down at my computer to work and get very little done before nap time is over and Luigi is awake.

Where does the time go?

When I came to Italy I was determined to make the best of it. Of course, I was also very optimistic about the future too. Love does that to people, I guess.

Actually, it has been very refreshing living here. I find that the lifestyle is less materialistic. My life certainly is, anyway. I don’t own an i-anything and I don’t have a flat screen TV or a Wii or any of those little handheld gadgets other than a very simple cell phone. We have a decent car, but nothing fancy, etc.

One of signs of a less materialistic lifestyle is that people here aren’t constantly moving to a bigger house with more square footage and more rooms than they could ever need. It seemed a constant thing back in the states. Most of the people I worked with moved every few years into a  newer house and bought a new car every couple of years as well. Fortunately there’s no “keep up with the Joneses” here – at least not where I live.

But, there is one thing that I miss and that I made O promise me that I could have if we ever decide to buy or fix up a house. That thing is an American-style kitchen. Why? Because, frankly, Italian kitchen design is stupid. OK, maybe there are some well-designed Italian kitchens out there but I have to admit that I have never seen one in any of the houses I’ve been in. The only smart thing in an Italian kitchen is the dish rack. (Mine no longer looks like the one in that post since I moved to a new apartment shortly afterwards. Now the one I have is smaller and less efficient.)

The reason I say this is because Italian kitchens have no counter space and very little storage space. My kitchen, for example has very small top cabinets that are built so that you can put things to display on top of them – knick knacks and the like. I’d much rather have space to put stuff in them considering that there are so few of them. Knick knacks just need to be dusted.  Plus, the kitchen is just along one short wall so I’m only left with about 10 inches of countertop that I can actually use for anything. That’s a pain when chopping vegetables and mixing batters.

Another thing I hate about my kitchen is the stainless steel. Now I know that there are kitchens all over the world that also use an overabundance of stainless steel, so it’s not an Italian-only thing. I can’t stand it though. Besides the fact that your kitchen looks overly institutional, it’s also a pain in the neck to keep clean. All it takes is one touch and it looks like you never clean it. In order to keep my stainless steel rangetop and sink clean I have to spray it with special cleaner and buff it dry. Come on people, who has time for that? Who in their right mind would design a kitchen that takes twice as long to clean?

And speaking of design.. who’s designing these Italian kitchens with all of the wasted space? Maybe I ought to go into the kitchen design business here.

**End of rant**

Many, many years ago, when I was a senior in high school (and it is truly many, many years ago), my AP English teacher assigned us a daily diary. Every day we were expected to write something in our diaries and she would periodically collect them. Now, this was a lot of work for her as well as for us since she had to spend time reading all of these diaries.. Or maybe it was her way to save money since she didn’t have time to read anything else. After all, who needs fiction when you have teenage diaries, right?

Believe me, we didn’t write anything personal in them though. And sometimes, as I’m sure you can imagine, it was extremely difficult coming up with something to write that was more than just a simple summary of how the day went. I found it particularly difficult because I’ve really never been one to share my thoughts and feelings and I’ve always been very sensitive about letting people read things I’ve written. I won’t even let anyone read the things I’ve written for my blog before I publish them, which is silly really since they’re going to be public in a short period of time. But, sentiments don’t always follow logic.

Despite the initial difficulties, as time went on it became increasingly easier to find something to write about. Those diaries held observations about life, crazy ideas, silly poems and even some funny tongue-in-cheek entries. I have no idea whatever happened to them, but I’m sure it would be hilarious reading them again. Unfortunately, they probably were left behind in my last move. Going overseas means taking nothing but the bare essentials.

When we graduated our teacher extracted a promise from us to continue with our journals but, as you can probably imagine, it wasn’t long before that habit fell by the wayside. It was hard to keep up at college and once a habit is broken, it’s difficult to start up again. (Except for maybe cigarette smoking since I know many people who keep quitting and going back to it.)

I read the diaries through a couple of times throughout the years. It was amazing how in the beginning the entries were rather dull and lackluster, but by the end of the year they became much more interesting, my writing flowed better and the entries called out to be read.

Oh, if I could only recapture that ..not the awkward adolescent/teenage years from hell, thank you very much, just the ability to write with style and flair.

Luigi, like most toddlers, likes to snack throughout the day. He eats only a little at a time, but he eats often, which is actually quite challenging since I want him to eat healthy things. Most snack-type foods don’t even qualify remotely as “healthy”, so what’s a mom to do?

Luigi’s favorite all-time food is cheese, but eating too much of that can produce rather unpleasant results.  His second favorite is pizza – at least there’s some tomato there – but it’s not very convenient as a snack food. The idea is to have something that is already prepared that he can have whenever hunger strikes.

With that in mind I started wondering what I could do to make a quick, toddler-friendly (in other words hand-held and non-messy) snack. Cookies are handy, but not healthy. After looking through tons of recipes I modified one and came up with

Pizza Cookies

4 Tbsp butter
1/2 cup shredded provolone cheese
1/2 cup grated parmigiano
1 Tbsp.tomato paste
1 pinch garlic powder
1 pinch oregano
3/4 cup whole wheat flour
1 pinch salt

I put everything in the food processor and mixed it together until I could see it was getting very moist. Then I took it out and formed it into a ball with my hands. I rolled it out to about 1/4 inch thick and cut it with some of my smallest cookie cutters. (I didn’t like the dog too much, the legs were too small and tended to brown too fast). I experimented with various thicknesses, but less than 1/4 inch became too crunchy.

Oh, and I cooked them at 425 degrees in a preheated oven for about 8 minutes.

The verdict, delicious….

Today marks the third anniversary of expatwomen.com – an outstanding resource for women living abroad and those preparing to move or considering moving abroad.

In their words…

ExpatWomen.com is a comprehensive, global website helping women living overseas. The site displays 1,000+ quality content pages, over 1,000 expat women blogs, 200+ readers’ stories, invaluable country resource pages, interviews with successful expat women, loads of motivational articles and an inspirational blog and monthly newsletter.

ExpatWomen.com was created by two friends, Andrea Martins and Jill Lengré, when they were both living in Mexico City. Their dream of connecting expatriate women worldwide was a result of their combined 20 years of experience living overseas.

Andrea and Jill worked together on the web site for two years (one year prior to launch on 16 January 2007, then one year after launch) before Jill stepped aside from the web site to focus on her move back to the US. Andrea now coordinates the web site from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and Jill now lives and works in sunny California.

ExpatWomen.com’s mission is to inspire your success abroad by providing you with a first-stop website to share stories, network globally, develop personally and find the best resources. Whether this is your first experience living overseas, you are a seasoned expat, a returned Expat Woman, or you are about to embark on your big adventure, we have something for everyone.

Just take a look at the home page and you’ll see that the site is chock-full of information.  You’ll want to hang around and explore all of its features.

Congratulations expatwomen.com and thanks for the great content!