I know, you’re saying, “is this a trick question?”
The answer is, when it’s you’re uncle (or aunt).
I had always wondered why the children of O’s cousins called him “zio” (uncle), but I figured it was just used as a form of respect despite the fact that he’s not of the advanced age that usually merits it. (Older people in town are generally addressed as Zia or Zio plus their first name.)
One day, being the curious person that I am, I couldn’t stand it anymore, and had to ask him why his cousins call him “Uncle”. He, of course, didn’t understand what I was talking about until I mentioned specific individuals. His response was, ”they’re not my cousins, they’re my nieces and nephews”. And I said, “HUH”? (Picture me scratching my head)
We went back and forth discussing this with me saying that the children of his cousins are his cousins – unfortunately, I didn’t know how to say “once-removed” in Italian – and him saying no, they’re his nephews. So, I dropped it, figuring it was better left alone.
Fast forward to yesterday when I received a message from my cousin – first cousin once removed that is, otherwise known as my father’s first cousin. O wanted to know who he was and when I told him my cousin, the discussion started all over again. Finally I tried to explain – the children of my grandfather’s siblings are my father’s first cousins. My father’s first cousins are my first cousins once removed and the children of my father’s first cousins are my second cousins. (It’s confusing even for those of us who speak English, I know.)
He finally understood the relationship and explained that in Italian you actually have 2nd Aunts and Uncles along with the corresponding 2nd Nieces and Nephews. So, to clarify, my father’s first cousin, in Italian, is actually my 2nd Uncle and I’m his 2nd Niece. His children are my 2nd Cousins, just like in English.
Whew! I’m glad we got that straightened out!
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Now you have me scratching my head, too. Just when I thought I had all of the relatives figured out!
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Have you heard the song, “I’m my own Grandpa”?
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Hah! That’s so true. When I was explaining to P’s mom about my grandmother’s first cousin (which should be my first cousin twice removed or something?) she kept calling her my Zia.
Um, whatever makes you happy Suocera
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That may be a regional thing. I’m from piemonte. The rule here is that the son of a cousin is a cousin as well. Indeed the problem is that their sons are cousins as well. And the sons of their sons, and THEIR sons. And… well, you get the point. I’ve got cousins whith whom I’ve been wondering becouse nobody knows of a common ancestor. Best answer I’ve got from my mother or some older relative is something like “Well, I remember Magna Rosa marrying some cousin of barba Giuanin, so you must be cousins somehow”.
BTW, I think the “removed” thing translates to italian as “grado” (degree). That is (I’m not really familiar with american/british way to track this sort of connections, so i explain the italian way as I know it. You can make the comparison) you count how many people you have to consider to get to the other person. So
My mother is a 1st degree relative (parente di primo grado)
My sister is a 2^ degree relative (parente di secondo grado)
and so on.
The daughter of my mother’s sister is my cousin.
Her daugher is my 2^ degree cousin (cugina di secondo grado)
end so on.
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