Not to be pacified

Luigi wants absolutely nothing to do with a pacifier.  There’s no way I can sneak it past him and pop it in his mouth.  He just looks at me as if to say, “who are you trying to fool?”.  I’ve tried all shapes and sizes.  There’s just no fooling this kid.

Now, in some ways I am very pleased about this and in others I wish he would take one. In fact, before he was born, I was determined to not give him a pacifier.

But then, there are times, like when we’re in the car or when he’s trying to fall asleep, that I would like him to be able to soothe himself with a pacifier instead of having to nurse him.

Now, I’m sure there are people saying, “but if you nurse him you’re just a human pacifier”.   But, what is a pacifier? A pacifier is a replacement for the human breast, is it not?  So, by saying I’m replacing a pacifier, you’re saying I’m basically replacing a replacement of myself.  Right?

No, it’s not very convenient, but I’ve learned to ask myself if I want him to do something because it is the right thing to do for him or because it’s more convenient for me.

Yesterday we went to do some shopping and Luigi started fussing.  We were almost done, we had been in the mall for a while and it was very hot in there (By the way, why do they have to turn the heat up so high?).  Since it was cold outside, we had coats on and he was in his carrier, so it was even warmer for him.  While O was paying for our purchases, I soothed him, saying we would be leaving soon and getting ready to go home.

One of the ladies in the store walked up to me and asked if he had a pacifier. She said that whenever her daughter starts acting like that she just pops the pacifier in her mouth and she calms down. I responded that no he wasn’t interested and she gave me some unsolicited advice, saying I should put some honey on it.  Excuse me?  Not only can honey contain bacteria that can harm a baby, but it will also ruin his teeth.  What was she thinking?  And why should I “force” him to take the pacifier?

(By the way, I can’t tell you how many times people have told me to put honey on the pacifier.)

But let’s go back to what the lady said – “whenever my daughter acts like that I pop the pacifier in her mouth and she calms down.”  Now, I knew why Luigi was acting like that, he was hot and tired and bored with walking around.  I’m no psychologist, but what would popping a pacifier in his mouth teach him?  Basically that, whenever you’re upset about something, just shove something in your mouth.  After all, that’s what mommy always did.  Or, would it teach him that no one wants to hear his complaints, so why bother expressing how he feels?  Maybe I’m reading too much into it…

Anyway, I’m not saying that people shouldn’t give their children pacifiers.  And, I’m certainly not in a position to judge anyone that does choose to give their child a pacifier.  Like I said before, it would be nice if he would take one for car rides, etc.  But, in a way I’m glad he’s decided that he doesn’t want one.

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